What's ADD, You Say?

Copyright ©1993 by Matthew Kutz

ADD is me. The child of today, a child of triumph and a child of sorrow, a child of curiosity and knowledge. ADD is me! And I am ADD!

Being in regular schools was an experience I will never forget. Most teachers when referring to ADD had no idea what they were talking about, they got everything wrong. They think you'll see and hear better if they sit you up front or sit you away in a corner. I am not blind, deaf, dumb, stupid nor a behavior problem. I am, however, attention deficit; my attention span doesn't last on any one subject very long unless I get totally consumed by a particular subject.

My special education teacher in fourth grade got angry because I corrected him about fruits and vegetables. He was explaining to the class that a tomato was a vegetable like a potato; but it is not, it is a fruit.

Being ADD is like being in a box and unable to get out. Punching your way out, the walls only turn to stone and the space gets smaller. My world begins to shrink.

Being ADD means you see things other people miss. When you see a peach you see a piece of fruit. I see the color, the texture, and the field where it grew.

Being ADD I'm not qualified to say how the brain functions but I am qualified to say how much it hurts when other people make fun of you. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair when they tease you and you want to bust their jaw but you walk away to keep from lowering yourself to their standards.

Being ADD is like being a hunter of today looking for new ways and new challenges to broaden my way. Being ADD doesn't mean life is over; it means it's just beginning. Being ADD means some things are more difficult for me to understand as my mind wants to investigate beyond what seems obvious to you.

Being ADD, when I read a book about marine life my mind allows me to travel with the fish and imagine life beneath the sea. Or I can read a book about astronomy and dance among the stars. I can do more than one thing at a time and do both well yet I can be stumped by some simple things.

I may not immediately comprehend that 3+4=7, but I may fully realize that n+26=51 and that the missing number is 25.

So when you meet me try to understand that what you are trying to teach me is totally boring if I've already learned it, or completely mystifies me if I haven't and have not caught on in a reasonable length of time. Be kind, patient and understanding; I will eventually learn it, then I am promptly through with it and ready for a new challenge or my exploring mind will continue to hunt for a subject more absorbing than something I've already learned.

I cannot begin to tell you in a few short paragraphs what ADD is or isn't. I can only say it isn't hopelessness, despair, or regret. It is just a different way of being and it's just being me!

[Matthew Kutz was a fourteen-year-old ADD student living in California. Mr. Kutz wishes to encourage the reproduction of his essay by nonprofit, noncommercial education and advocacy groups. He retains all rights to publish this commercially himself in the future. Refer all correspondence to: M. Kutz, 1001 Cooper Point Road SW, Suite 140-172, Olympia, WA 98502 Or contact Janie Bowman 70373,2414.]

This was originally published in the Spring 1993 edition of the Olympia Chapter, Learning Disabilities Association of Washington (State) Attention Deficit Newsletter.

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Last Modified: Thursday, October 02, 1997 9:34:45 PM