Romeo and Juliet, Act III, Scene 5

Romeo and Juliet
Act III, Scene 5

[previous scene] [Romeo and Juliet page] [next scene]

You can listen to some
music as you read.
Click on the icon above.
(You can also shut if off,
if you find it annoying.)

Shakespeare
for Scholars: Shakespeare
for Everyone Else:

Capulet's orchard.
Enter ROMEO and JULIET above,
at the window

It is a few minutes later, and Romeo and Juliet are upstairs.

JULIET
Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day:
It was the nightingale, and not the lark,
That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear;
Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree:
Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.

ROMEO
It was the lark, the herald of the morn,
No nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks
Do lace the severing clouds in yonder east:
Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day
Stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops.
I must be gone and live, or stay and die.

JULIET
Yon light is not day-light, I know it, I:
It is some meteor that the sun exhales,
To be to thee this night a torch-bearer,
And light thee on thy way to Mantua:
Therefore stay yet; thou need'st not to be gone.

Instead of honeymooning, they are having a rather intellectual discussion as to whether Romeo should stay, or go. Juliet wants him to stay. Romeo thinks he should go.

ROMEO
Let me be ta'en, let me be put to death;
I am content, so thou wilt have it so.
I'll say yon grey is not the morning's eye,
'Tis but the pale reflex of Cynthia's brow;
Nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat
The vaulty heaven so high above our heads:
I have more care to stay than will to go:
Come, death, and welcome! Juliet wills it so.
How is't, my soul? let's talk; it is not day.
Then, Juliet convinces Romeo. He agrees to stay. He changes his mind, and agrees that he can stay awhile longer.

JULIET
It is, it is: hie hence, be gone, away!
It is the lark that sings so out of tune,
Straining harsh discords and unpleasing sharps.
Some say the lark makes sweet division;
This doth not so, for she divideth us:
Some say the lark and loathed toad change eyes,
O, now I would they had changed voices too!
Since arm from arm that voice doth us affray,
Hunting thee hence with hunt's-up to the day,
O, now be gone; more light and light it grows.

ROMEO
More light and light; more dark and dark our woes!

However, Juliet now changes her mind, and wants him to go. These kids today...

(Enter NURSE, to the chamber.)
NURSE
Madam!

JULIET
Nurse?

They are interrupted by a knock at the door: it is the Nurse, who knows everything, as usual.

NURSE
Your lady mother is coming to your chamber:
The day is broke; be wary, look about.

(NURSE Exits.)
JULIET
Then, window, let day in, and let life out.

She warns them of the impending approach of Lady Capulet.

ROMEO
Farewell, farewell! one kiss, and I'll descend.
He goeth down

Romeo begins to leave. He climbs onto the rope ladder. According to the script he "goeth down."

JULIET
Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend!
I must hear from thee every day in the hour,
For in a minute there are many days:
O, by this count I shall be much in years
Ere I again behold my Romeo!
Even after Romeo has "goeth downeth," they continue to talketh.

ROMEO
Farewell!
I will omit no opportunity
That may convey my greetings, love, to thee.

JULIET
O think'st thou we shall ever meet again?

ROMEO
I doubt it not; and all these woes shall serve
For sweet discourses in our time to come.

They promise to correspond often, perhaps picture postcards. They will "convey" greetings, and thoughts of "having a good time, wish you were here..."

JULIET
O God, I have an ill-divining soul!
Methinks I see thee, now thou art below,
As one dead in the bottom of a tomb:
Either my eyesight fails, or thou look'st pale.
Romeo, way down at the bottom of the rope ladder, looks like a body lying in a tomb. Can you say "foreshadowing," boys and girls?

ROMEO
And trust me, love, in my eye so do you:
Dry sorrow drinks our blood. Adieu, adieu!

Exit

Romeo listens to her concerns, and responds. "The same to you, and more of it," he thinks.

Romeo leaves. (Whew! That was close.)

JULIET
O fortune, fortune! all men call thee fickle:
If thou art fickle, what dost thou with him.
That is renown'd for faith? Be fickle, fortune;
For then, I hope, thou wilt not keep him long,
But send him back.

Juliet says that "fortune" is "fickle." If one is fickle, then one keeps changing his mind.

The characters in this play are "fickle." Juliet does not seem to notice that. Perhaps she should read her script.

LADY CAPULET [Within]
Ho, daughter! are you up?

JULIET
Who is't that calls? is it my lady mother?
Is she not down so late, or up so early?
What unaccustom'd cause procures her hither?

Enter LADY CAPULET

Lady Capulet appears, "within." According to the scholars, the word "within" means "without." Easy, isn't it?

Juliet's mother appears just after the nick of time. Her Timex, it seems, was slow.

LADY CAPULET
Why, how now, Juliet!
Interested readers should reference "How now, brown cow," and "grazing in the green, green grass." The rest of us shall just let this pass.

JULIET
Madam, I am not well.
The audience anthusiastically agrees. This is one of the few times that Juliet tells the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

LADY CAPULET
Evermore weeping for your cousin's death?
What, wilt thou wash him from his grave with tears?
An if thou couldst, thou couldst not make him live;
Therefore, have done: some grief shows much of love;
But much of grief shows still some want of wit.
Lady Capulet assumes that Juliet's tears are due to the death of her cousin, Tybalt.

JULIET
Yet let me weep for such a feeling loss.

LADY CAPULET
So shall you feel the loss, but not the friend
Which you weep for.

JULIET
Feeling so the loss,
Cannot choose but ever weep the friend.

Juliet does admit that she is weeping for a "loss."

LADY CAPULET
Well, girl, thou weep'st not so much for his death,
As that the villain lives which slaughter'd him.

JULIET
What villain madam?

LADY CAPULET
That same villain, Romeo.

Lady Capulet now believes that her daughter's tears are due to the fact that Tybalt's murderer (Romeo) is still alive.

JULIET
[Aside]
Villain and he be many miles asunder.--
[To her mother.]
God Pardon him! I do, with all my heart;
And yet no man like he doth grieve my heart.

LADY CAPULET
That is, because the traitor murderer lives.

JULIET
Ay, madam, from the reach of these my hands:
Would none but I might venge my cousin's death!

An "aside" is a statement made by a character in a play which no one else can hear. So, the trick is to just pretend you did not hear that. Got it?

LADY CAPULET
We will have vengeance for it, fear thou not:
Then weep no more. I'll send to one in Mantua,
Where that same banish'd runagate doth live,
Shall give him such an unaccustom'd dram,
That he shall soon keep Tybalt company:
And then, I hope, thou wilt be satisfied.
Lady Capulet promises that she will revenge the death of Tybalt. She discusses a plan to have a friend slip a "dram" of poison to Romeo. The word "dram" refers to a cup, or a glass, or a drink.

JULIET
Indeed, I never shall be satisfied
With Romeo, till I behold him--dead--
Is my poor heart for a kinsman vex'd.
Madam, if you could find out but a man
To bear a poison, I would temper it;
That Romeo should, upon receipt thereof,
Soon sleep in quiet. O, how my heart abhors
To hear him named, and cannot come to him.
To wreak the love I bore my cousin
Upon his body that slaughter'd him!

Juliet continues to deceive her mother. She implies that she wants Romeo dead. However, her words are carefully chosen, so she does not technically reveal her true wishes.
For example, try reading the lines to the left as follows:
Indeed, I never shall be satisfied
With Romeo, till I behold him dead.
Is my poor heart for a kinsman vex'd?
(Note: the word "vexed" means "troubled." The "kinsman" is Tybalt.)
Now, try to read it another way:
Indeed, I never shall be satisfied
With Romeo, till I behold him.
Dead is my poor heart for a kinsman vex'd.

LADY CAPULET
Find thou the means, and I'll find such a man.
But now I'll tell thee joyful tidings, girl.

JULIET
And joy comes well in such a needy time:
What are they, I beseech your ladyship?

LADY CAPULET
Well, well, thou hast a careful father, child;
One who, to put thee from thy heaviness,
Hath sorted out a sudden day of joy,
That thou expect'st not nor I look'd not for.

JULIET
Madam, in happy time, what day is that?

Perhaps Lady Capulet is just as confused as we are. She changes the subject. Lady Capulet tells her daughter that she has good news, which will cheer her up.

LADY CAPULET
Marry, my child, early next Thursday morn,
The gallant, young and noble gentleman,
The County Paris, at Saint Peter's Church,
Shall happily make thee there a joyful bride.
Lady Capulet tells Juliet the “joyful tidings”: that she is to be married to Paris.

JULIET
Now, by Saint Peter's Church and Peter too,
He shall not make me there a joyful bride.
I wonder at this haste; that I must wed
Ere he, that should be husband, comes to woo.
I pray you, tell my lord and father, madam,
I will not marry yet; and, when I do, I swear,
It shall be Romeo, whom you know I hate,
Rather than Paris. These are news indeed!

Juliet explodes in anger, and tells her mother that she will not marry Paris.

Even in the midst of her tantrum, the young girl is tricky in her speech. She says she would rather marry "Romeo, whom you know I hate," than Paris.

Is that a lie? Not really...

I would rather marry Romeo, whom YOU know I hate, but I know better..."

LADY CAPULET
Here comes your father; tell him so yourself,
And see how he will take it at your hands.
Lady Capulet is surprised. She tells Juliet to tell her father.

Enter CAPULET and NURSE
CAPULET
When the sun sets, the air doth drizzle dew;
But for the sunset of my brother's son
It rains downright.
How now! a conduit, girl? what, still in tears?
Evermore showering? In one little body
Thou counterfeit'st a bark, a sea, a wind;
For still thy eyes, which I may call the sea,
Do ebb and flow with tears; the bark thy body is,
Sailing in this salt flood; the winds, thy sighs;
Who, raging with thy tears, and they with them,
Without a sudden calm, will overset

Then, Capulet himself appears.

He notices Juliet's tears, and calls her a "conduit." Those intellectual academic scholars will tell you that a "conduit" was a fountain.

Thy tempest-tossed body. How now, wife!
Have you deliver'd to her our decree?
The word "tempest" means "storm." A really bad storm.

LADY CAPULET
Ay, sir; but she will none, she gives you thanks.
I would the fool were married to her grave!
Lady Capulet tells her husband that Juliet refused to marry Paris.

CAPULET
Soft! take me with you, take me with you, wife.
How! will she none? doth she not give us thanks?
Is she not proud? doth she not count her blest,
Unworthy as she is, that we have wrought
So worthy a gentleman to be her bridegroom?

JULIET
Not proud, you have; but thankful, that you have:
Proud can I never be of what I hate;
But thankful even for hate, that is meant love.

Daddy is horrified at her daughter’s response.

CAPULET
How now, how now, chop-logic! What is this?
'Proud,' and 'I thank you,' and 'I thank you not;'
And yet 'not proud,' mistress minion, you,
Thank me no thankings, nor, proud me no prouds,
But fettle your fine joints 'gainst Thursday next,
To go with Paris to Saint Peter's Church,
Or I will drag thee on a hurdle thither.
Capulet (like the audience), cannot make sense out of Juliet's speeches. He calls them "chop-logic."

He says she will marry Paris this Thursday, even if he has to drag her there on a "hurdle." A hurdle is a sort of a sled. Hurdles were used to drag undesirable people through the streets. They were especially used for the most disgusting persons, like dead bodies, or criminals, or television evangelists.

Out, you green-sickness carrion! out, you baggage!
You tallow-face!

LADY CAPULET
Fie, fie! what, are you mad?

JULIET
Good father, I beseech you on my knees,
Hear me with patience but to speak a word.

Capulet begins to call his daughter names. "Carrion" means dead flesh. "Tallow" was the yellowish stuff they used to make candles out of.

CAPULET
Hang thee, young baggage! disobedient wretch!
Capulet also calls Juliet a "wretch" and "baggage." Your dictionary will tell you that the first is a "lowly female," while the second is often Samsonite.

I tell thee what: get thee to church o' Thursday,
Or never after look me in the face:
Speak not, reply not, do not answer me;
My fingers itch. Wife, we scarce thought us blest
That God had lent us but this only child;
Mr. Capulet tells Juliet that she will marry Paris, or he will throw her out.

Even worse, she will never inherit.

But now I see this one is one too much,
And that we have a curse in having her:
Out on her, hilding!
He calls his daughter a "hilding." Oxford defines "hilding as a "bawd." Webster says that "bawd" is a "harlot." Rand-McNally says that "harlot" is a "prostitute." N.W.A. defines "prostitute" as a "ho." See how nicely it all works out?

NURSE
God in heaven bless her!
You are to blame, my lord, to rate her so.

CAPULET
And why, my lady wisdom? hold your tongue,
Good prudence; smatter with your gossips, go.

NURSE
I speak no treason.

CAPULET
O, God ye god-den.

NURSE
May not one speak?

CAPULET
Peace, you mumbling fool!
Utter your gravity o'er a gossip's bowl;
For here we need it not.

The Nurse thinks that Capulet has gone to far. When she tries her best to stick up for young Juliet, Capulet turns on her, and yells at the servant.

LADY CAPULET
You are too hot.

Even Lady Capulet realizes that her husband has gone too far.

CAPULET
God's bread! it makes me mad:
Day, night, hour, tide, time, work, play,
Alone, in company, still my care hath been
To have her match'd: and having now provided
A gentleman of noble parentage,
Capulet explains his anger. He points out that all he was doing was trying to have the girl "matched."

Of fair demesnes, youthful, and nobly train'd,
Stuff'd, as they say, with honourable parts,
Proportion'd as one's thought would wish a man;
Mr. Capulet also points out that Paris has "fair demesnes." In other words, he is what some girls might call a "hunk."

And then to have a wretched puling fool,
A whining mammet, in her fortune's tender,
To answer 'I'll not wed; I cannot love,
I am too young; I pray you, pardon me.'
But, as you will not wed, I'll pardon you:
Capulet thinks his daughter is being ungrateful. He says she is a "wretched puling fool."

Graze where you will you shall not house with me:
Look to't, think on't, I do not use to jest.
Thursday is near; lay hand on heart, advise:
An you be mine, I'll give you to my friend;
Finally, he makes it clear that he will not change his mind. He tells Juliet she can "graze" where she will. Juliet does not answer. Not even one "moo."

And you be not, hang, beg, starve, die in
the streets,
For, by my soul, I'll ne'er acknowledge thee,
Nor what is mine shall never do thee good:
Trust to't, bethink you; I'll not be forsworn.

Exit

Capulet also says if she refuses, she can "hang," or beg, or even starve in the streets.

With that, Capulet storms out of the room.

JULIET
Is there no pity sitting in the clouds,
That sees into the bottom of my grief?
O, sweet my mother, cast me not away!
Delay this marriage for a month, a week;
Or, if you do not, make the bridal bed
In that dim monument where Tybalt lies.
Juliet is a bit depressed. She turns to her mother for some help.

LADY CAPULET
Talk not to me, for I'll not speak a word:
Do as thou wilt, for I have done with thee.
Unfortunately, Lady Capulet's response is cold, and uncaring.

Exit
JULIET
O God!--O nurse, how shall this be prevented?
My husband is on earth, my faith in heaven;
How shall that faith return again to earth,
Unless that husband send it me from heaven
By leaving earth? comfort me, counsel me.
Alack, alack, that heaven should practise stratagems
Upon so soft a subject as myself!
What say'st thou? hast thou not a word of joy?
Some comfort, nurse.

Having no more lines, Lady Capulet exits.
Juliet turns to the Nurse for some “comfort.”

NURSE
Faith, here it is.
Romeo is banish'd; and all the world to nothing,
That he dares ne'er come back to challenge you;
Or, if he do, it needs must be by stealth.
Then, since the case so stands as now it doth,
I think it best you married with the county.
O, he's a lovely gentleman!
The Nurse advises the young girl to forget about Romeo, and go ahead and marry Paris. She points out that Romeo can never come back to protest the arrangement.

Romeo's a dishclout to him: an eagle, madam,
Hath not so green, so quick, so fair an eye
As Paris hath. Beshrew my very heart,
I think you are happy in this second match,
For it excels your first: or if it did not,
Your first is dead; or 'twere as good he were,
As living here and you no use of him.

JULIET
Speakest thou from thy heart?

The Nurse seems to think that Paris is a better "match."

NURSE
And from my soul too;
Or else beshrew them both.

JULIET
Amen!

NURSE
What?

The audience may recall that the word "beshrew" used to mean "a curse upon..."

At least, those who are still awake.

JULIET
Well, thou hast comforted me marvellous much.
Go in: and tell my lady I am gone,
Having displeased my father, to Laurence' cell,
To make confession and to be absolved.

NURSE
Marry, I will; and this is wisely done.

Juliet deceives the Nurse, and allows her to believe that Juliet will go along with the Nurse's advice.

Exit
JULIET
Ancient damnation! O most wicked fiend!
Is it more sin to wish me thus forsworn,
Or to dispraise my lord with that same tongue
Which she hath praised him with above compare

Juliet waits until the Nurse has left, and then, in a brief soliloquy, she curses the Nurse. Juliet also makes it clear that she can no longer trust her former “confidante.”

So many thousand times? Go, counsellor;
Thou and my bosom henceforth shall be twain.
The word "twain" means "two," or, in this case, "split" or "apart."

I'll to the friar, to know his remedy:
If all else fail, myself have power to die.

Exit Juliet decides to go and visit the Friar, for some help. If Friar Lawrence cannot help, Juliet hints that she will commit suicide.
Yet another cheerful thought to end a scene on...

The summaries provided
herein are protected by copyright.

Do not reproduce without
permission of the author.

	You can listen to some music as you read. Click on the icon above. (You can also shut if off, if you find it annoying.)

Shakespeare for Scholars:	Shakespeare for Everyone Else:
Capulet's orchard. Enter ROMEO and JULIET above, at the window	It is a few minutes later, and Romeo and Juliet are upstairs.
JULIET Wilt thou be gone? it is not yet near day: It was the nightingale, and not the lark, That pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear; Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate-tree: Believe me, love, it was the nightingale. ROMEO It was the lark, the herald of the morn, No nightingale: look, love, what envious streaks Do lace the severing clouds in yonder east: Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day Stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops. I must be gone and live, or stay and die. JULIET Yon light is not day-light, I know it, I: It is some meteor that the sun exhales, To be to thee this night a torch-bearer, And light thee on thy way to Mantua: Therefore stay yet; thou need'st not to be gone.	Instead of honeymooning, they are having a rather intellectual discussion as to whether Romeo should stay, or go. Juliet wants him to stay. Romeo thinks he should go.
ROMEO Let me be ta'en, let me be put to death; I am content, so thou wilt have it so. I'll say yon grey is not the morning's eye, 'Tis but the pale reflex of Cynthia's brow; Nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat The vaulty heaven so high above our heads: I have more care to stay than will to go: Come, death, and welcome! Juliet wills it so. How is't, my soul? let's talk; it is not day.	Then, Juliet convinces Romeo. He agrees to stay. He changes his mind, and agrees that he can stay awhile longer.
JULIET It is, it is: hie hence, be gone, away! It is the lark that sings so out of tune, Straining harsh discords and unpleasing sharps. Some say the lark makes sweet division; This doth not so, for she divideth us: Some say the lark and loathed toad change eyes, O, now I would they had changed voices too! Since arm from arm that voice doth us affray, Hunting thee hence with hunt's-up to the day, O, now be gone; more light and light it grows. ROMEO More light and light; more dark and dark our woes!	However, Juliet now changes her mind, and wants him to go. These kids today...
(Enter NURSE, to the chamber.) NURSE Madam! JULIET Nurse?	They are interrupted by a knock at the door: it is the Nurse, who knows everything, as usual.
NURSE Your lady mother is coming to your chamber: The day is broke; be wary, look about. (NURSE Exits.) JULIET Then, window, let day in, and let life out.	She warns them of the impending approach of Lady Capulet.
ROMEO Farewell, farewell! one kiss, and I'll descend. He goeth down	Romeo begins to leave. He climbs onto the rope ladder. According to the script he "goeth down."
JULIET Art thou gone so? love, lord, ay, husband, friend! I must hear from thee every day in the hour, For in a minute there are many days: O, by this count I shall be much in years Ere I again behold my Romeo!	Even after Romeo has "goeth downeth," they continue to talketh.
ROMEO Farewell! I will omit no opportunity That may convey my greetings, love, to thee. JULIET O think'st thou we shall ever meet again? ROMEO I doubt it not; and all these woes shall serve For sweet discourses in our time to come.	They promise to correspond often, perhaps picture postcards. They will "convey" greetings, and thoughts of "having a good time, wish you were here..."
JULIET O God, I have an ill-divining soul! Methinks I see thee, now thou art below, As one dead in the bottom of a tomb: Either my eyesight fails, or thou look'st pale.	Romeo, way down at the bottom of the rope ladder, looks like a body lying in a tomb. Can you say "foreshadowing," boys and girls?
ROMEO And trust me, love, in my eye so do you: Dry sorrow drinks our blood. Adieu, adieu! Exit	Romeo listens to her concerns, and responds. "The same to you, and more of it," he thinks. Romeo leaves. (Whew! That was close.)
JULIET O fortune, fortune! all men call thee fickle: If thou art fickle, what dost thou with him. That is renown'd for faith? Be fickle, fortune; For then, I hope, thou wilt not keep him long, But send him back.	Juliet says that "fortune" is "fickle." If one is fickle, then one keeps changing his mind. The characters in this play are "fickle." Juliet does not seem to notice that. Perhaps she should read her script.
LADY CAPULET [Within] Ho, daughter! are you up? JULIET Who is't that calls? is it my lady mother? Is she not down so late, or up so early? What unaccustom'd cause procures her hither? Enter LADY CAPULET	Lady Capulet appears, "within." According to the scholars, the word "within" means "without." Easy, isn't it? Juliet's mother appears just after the nick of time. Her Timex, it seems, was slow.
LADY CAPULET Why, how now, Juliet!	Interested readers should reference "How now, brown cow," and "grazing in the green, green grass." The rest of us shall just let this pass.
JULIET Madam, I am not well.	The audience anthusiastically agrees. This is one of the few times that Juliet tells the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
LADY CAPULET Evermore weeping for your cousin's death? What, wilt thou wash him from his grave with tears? An if thou couldst, thou couldst not make him live; Therefore, have done: some grief shows much of love; But much of grief shows still some want of wit.	Lady Capulet assumes that Juliet's tears are due to the death of her cousin, Tybalt.
JULIET Yet let me weep for such a feeling loss. LADY CAPULET So shall you feel the loss, but not the friend Which you weep for. JULIET Feeling so the loss, Cannot choose but ever weep the friend.	Juliet does admit that she is weeping for a "loss."
LADY CAPULET Well, girl, thou weep'st not so much for his death, As that the villain lives which slaughter'd him. JULIET What villain madam? LADY CAPULET That same villain, Romeo.	Lady Capulet now believes that her daughter's tears are due to the fact that Tybalt's murderer (Romeo) is still alive.
JULIET [Aside] Villain and he be many miles asunder.-- [To her mother.] God Pardon him! I do, with all my heart; And yet no man like he doth grieve my heart. LADY CAPULET That is, because the traitor murderer lives. JULIET Ay, madam, from the reach of these my hands: Would none but I might venge my cousin's death!	An "aside" is a statement made by a character in a play which no one else can hear. So, the trick is to just pretend you did not hear that. Got it?
LADY CAPULET We will have vengeance for it, fear thou not: Then weep no more. I'll send to one in Mantua, Where that same banish'd runagate doth live, Shall give him such an unaccustom'd dram, That he shall soon keep Tybalt company: And then, I hope, thou wilt be satisfied.	Lady Capulet promises that she will revenge the death of Tybalt. She discusses a plan to have a friend slip a "dram" of poison to Romeo. The word "dram" refers to a cup, or a glass, or a drink.
JULIET Indeed, I never shall be satisfied With Romeo, till I behold him--dead-- Is my poor heart for a kinsman vex'd. Madam, if you could find out but a man To bear a poison, I would temper it; That Romeo should, upon receipt thereof, Soon sleep in quiet. O, how my heart abhors To hear him named, and cannot come to him. To wreak the love I bore my cousin Upon his body that slaughter'd him!	Juliet continues to deceive her mother. She implies that she wants Romeo dead. However, her words are carefully chosen, so she does not technically reveal her true wishes. For example, try reading the lines to the left as follows: Indeed, I never shall be satisfied With Romeo, till I behold him dead. Is my poor heart for a kinsman vex'd? (Note: the word "vexed" means "troubled." The "kinsman" is Tybalt.) Now, try to read it another way: Indeed, I never shall be satisfied With Romeo, till I behold him. Dead is my poor heart for a kinsman vex'd.
LADY CAPULET Find thou the means, and I'll find such a man. But now I'll tell thee joyful tidings, girl. JULIET And joy comes well in such a needy time: What are they, I beseech your ladyship? LADY CAPULET Well, well, thou hast a careful father, child; One who, to put thee from thy heaviness, Hath sorted out a sudden day of joy, That thou expect'st not nor I look'd not for. JULIET Madam, in happy time, what day is that?	Perhaps Lady Capulet is just as confused as we are. She changes the subject. Lady Capulet tells her daughter that she has good news, which will cheer her up.
LADY CAPULET Marry, my child, early next Thursday morn, The gallant, young and noble gentleman, The County Paris, at Saint Peter's Church, Shall happily make thee there a joyful bride.	Lady Capulet tells Juliet the “joyful tidings”: that she is to be married to Paris.
JULIET Now, by Saint Peter's Church and Peter too, He shall not make me there a joyful bride. I wonder at this haste; that I must wed Ere he, that should be husband, comes to woo. I pray you, tell my lord and father, madam, I will not marry yet; and, when I do, I swear, It shall be Romeo, whom you know I hate, Rather than Paris. These are news indeed!	Juliet explodes in anger, and tells her mother that she will not marry Paris. Even in the midst of her tantrum, the young girl is tricky in her speech. She says she would rather marry "Romeo, whom you know I hate," than Paris. Is that a lie? Not really... I would rather marry Romeo, whom YOU know I hate, but I know better..."
LADY CAPULET Here comes your father; tell him so yourself, And see how he will take it at your hands.	Lady Capulet is surprised. She tells Juliet to tell her father.
Enter CAPULET and NURSE CAPULET When the sun sets, the air doth drizzle dew; But for the sunset of my brother's son It rains downright. How now! a conduit, girl? what, still in tears? Evermore showering? In one little body Thou counterfeit'st a bark, a sea, a wind; For still thy eyes, which I may call the sea, Do ebb and flow with tears; the bark thy body is, Sailing in this salt flood; the winds, thy sighs; Who, raging with thy tears, and they with them, Without a sudden calm, will overset	Then, Capulet himself appears. He notices Juliet's tears, and calls her a "conduit." Those intellectual academic scholars will tell you that a "conduit" was a fountain.
Thy tempest-tossed body. How now, wife! Have you deliver'd to her our decree?	The word "tempest" means "storm." A really bad storm.
LADY CAPULET Ay, sir; but she will none, she gives you thanks. I would the fool were married to her grave!	Lady Capulet tells her husband that Juliet refused to marry Paris.
CAPULET Soft! take me with you, take me with you, wife. How! will she none? doth she not give us thanks? Is she not proud? doth she not count her blest, Unworthy as she is, that we have wrought So worthy a gentleman to be her bridegroom? JULIET Not proud, you have; but thankful, that you have: Proud can I never be of what I hate; But thankful even for hate, that is meant love.	Daddy is horrified at her daughter’s response.
CAPULET How now, how now, chop-logic! What is this? 'Proud,' and 'I thank you,' and 'I thank you not;' And yet 'not proud,' mistress minion, you, Thank me no thankings, nor, proud me no prouds, But fettle your fine joints 'gainst Thursday next, To go with Paris to Saint Peter's Church, Or I will drag thee on a hurdle thither.	Capulet (like the audience), cannot make sense out of Juliet's speeches. He calls them "chop-logic." He says she will marry Paris this Thursday, even if he has to drag her there on a "hurdle." A hurdle is a sort of a sled. Hurdles were used to drag undesirable people through the streets. They were especially used for the most disgusting persons, like dead bodies, or criminals, or television evangelists.
Out, you green-sickness carrion! out, you baggage! You tallow-face! LADY CAPULET Fie, fie! what, are you mad? JULIET Good father, I beseech you on my knees, Hear me with patience but to speak a word.	Capulet begins to call his daughter names. "Carrion" means dead flesh. "Tallow" was the yellowish stuff they used to make candles out of.
CAPULET Hang thee, young baggage! disobedient wretch!	Capulet also calls Juliet a "wretch" and "baggage." Your dictionary will tell you that the first is a "lowly female," while the second is often Samsonite.
I tell thee what: get thee to church o' Thursday, Or never after look me in the face: Speak not, reply not, do not answer me; My fingers itch. Wife, we scarce thought us blest That God had lent us but this only child;	Mr. Capulet tells Juliet that she will marry Paris, or he will throw her out. Even worse, she will never inherit.
But now I see this one is one too much, And that we have a curse in having her: Out on her, hilding!	He calls his daughter a "hilding." Oxford defines "hilding as a "bawd." Webster says that "bawd" is a "harlot." Rand-McNally says that "harlot" is a "prostitute." N.W.A. defines "prostitute" as a "ho." See how nicely it all works out?
NURSE God in heaven bless her! You are to blame, my lord, to rate her so. CAPULET And why, my lady wisdom? hold your tongue, Good prudence; smatter with your gossips, go. NURSE I speak no treason. CAPULET O, God ye god-den. NURSE May not one speak? CAPULET Peace, you mumbling fool! Utter your gravity o'er a gossip's bowl; For here we need it not.	The Nurse thinks that Capulet has gone to far. When she tries her best to stick up for young Juliet, Capulet turns on her, and yells at the servant.
LADY CAPULET You are too hot.	Even Lady Capulet realizes that her husband has gone too far.
CAPULET God's bread! it makes me mad: Day, night, hour, tide, time, work, play, Alone, in company, still my care hath been To have her match'd: and having now provided A gentleman of noble parentage,	Capulet explains his anger. He points out that all he was doing was trying to have the girl "matched."
Of fair demesnes, youthful, and nobly train'd, Stuff'd, as they say, with honourable parts, Proportion'd as one's thought would wish a man;	Mr. Capulet also points out that Paris has "fair demesnes." In other words, he is what some girls might call a "hunk."
And then to have a wretched puling fool, A whining mammet, in her fortune's tender, To answer 'I'll not wed; I cannot love, I am too young; I pray you, pardon me.' But, as you will not wed, I'll pardon you:	Capulet thinks his daughter is being ungrateful. He says she is a "wretched puling fool."
Graze where you will you shall not house with me: Look to't, think on't, I do not use to jest. Thursday is near; lay hand on heart, advise: An you be mine, I'll give you to my friend;	Finally, he makes it clear that he will not change his mind. He tells Juliet she can "graze" where she will. Juliet does not answer. Not even one "moo."
And you be not, hang, beg, starve, die in the streets, For, by my soul, I'll ne'er acknowledge thee, Nor what is mine shall never do thee good: Trust to't, bethink you; I'll not be forsworn. Exit	Capulet also says if she refuses, she can "hang," or beg, or even starve in the streets. With that, Capulet storms out of the room.
JULIET Is there no pity sitting in the clouds, That sees into the bottom of my grief? O, sweet my mother, cast me not away! Delay this marriage for a month, a week; Or, if you do not, make the bridal bed In that dim monument where Tybalt lies.	Juliet is a bit depressed. She turns to her mother for some help.
LADY CAPULET Talk not to me, for I'll not speak a word: Do as thou wilt, for I have done with thee.	Unfortunately, Lady Capulet's response is cold, and uncaring.
Exit JULIET O God!--O nurse, how shall this be prevented? My husband is on earth, my faith in heaven; How shall that faith return again to earth, Unless that husband send it me from heaven By leaving earth? comfort me, counsel me. Alack, alack, that heaven should practise stratagems Upon so soft a subject as myself! What say'st thou? hast thou not a word of joy? Some comfort, nurse.	Having no more lines, Lady Capulet exits. Juliet turns to the Nurse for some “comfort.”
NURSE Faith, here it is. Romeo is banish'd; and all the world to nothing, That he dares ne'er come back to challenge you; Or, if he do, it needs must be by stealth. Then, since the case so stands as now it doth, I think it best you married with the county. O, he's a lovely gentleman!	The Nurse advises the young girl to forget about Romeo, and go ahead and marry Paris. She points out that Romeo can never come back to protest the arrangement.
Romeo's a dishclout to him: an eagle, madam, Hath not so green, so quick, so fair an eye As Paris hath. Beshrew my very heart, I think you are happy in this second match, For it excels your first: or if it did not, Your first is dead; or 'twere as good he were, As living here and you no use of him. JULIET Speakest thou from thy heart?	The Nurse seems to think that Paris is a better "match."
NURSE And from my soul too; Or else beshrew them both. JULIET Amen! NURSE What?	The audience may recall that the word "beshrew" used to mean "a curse upon..." At least, those who are still awake.
JULIET Well, thou hast comforted me marvellous much. Go in: and tell my lady I am gone, Having displeased my father, to Laurence' cell, To make confession and to be absolved. NURSE Marry, I will; and this is wisely done.	Juliet deceives the Nurse, and allows her to believe that Juliet will go along with the Nurse's advice.
Exit JULIET Ancient damnation! O most wicked fiend! Is it more sin to wish me thus forsworn, Or to dispraise my lord with that same tongue Which she hath praised him with above compare	Juliet waits until the Nurse has left, and then, in a brief soliloquy, she curses the Nurse. Juliet also makes it clear that she can no longer trust her former “confidante.”
So many thousand times? Go, counsellor; Thou and my bosom henceforth shall be twain.	The word "twain" means "two," or, in this case, "split" or "apart."
I'll to the friar, to know his remedy: If all else fail, myself have power to die. Exit	Juliet decides to go and visit the Friar, for some help. If Friar Lawrence cannot help, Juliet hints that she will commit suicide. Yet another cheerful thought to end a scene on...